9 Obvious Sins of Sloth you shouldnt be doing but probably are doing because you are waiting to be advised!!

I retired from the business of telling grown people what to do with their lives. But here are 9 things that you obviously know you shouldn't do, yet for some reason, you keep doing them.

research has proven what we have all been suspecting, people just love to get advice on things they already know!! So here is a piece of what i think, because you just love wasting time trying to learn what o already know, others are eking a living out of it telling you the obvious.

1. Don’t save. Look here; forget that saying,that goes by this phrase"save some money for a rainy day!!" its raining today, go buy yourself a sleek  Ferrari!! Pamper yourself, buy six inch rims and low riders it looks good. Plus the ladies totally love it, buy some eighty dollar Louis Vuitton Condoms and make your birthday memorable... Life is made up of memories, especially when you go broke and all you have is memories of an overflowing bank account.

2. Cheat

 see here is the thing... Life is too short and with over 7billion people you want to be with just the 1 boring guy/girl that broke your virginity for the rest of your miserable life? Who does that? Spared the love, spread some cheap legs to everyone, they will think u are awesome.. After all, nobody is born perfect donge? Great and let nobody tell u how to live your life, nobody!! it’s your effing body.. It’s your life!! cheat like its your last damn time, come home smelling strange perfumes, your partner is going to be amused and pleased she will hug you, give you warm food and will totally do nothing about it.

3. Beat Your woman, to prove to the world that u r a man, beat your woman; beat her up so hard she wouldn’t remember her name. Make sure if she survives, the only person who will be eating “githeri” is u, just beat her for no particular reason, if not for your own amusement...  She will love you even more if u can kill her do it... nobody will ask, dump her body in front of your door.

4. Mess your friends up, I don’t care how u do it, whether its hitting on their women or sleeping with their mums.. Just do it, drop it, the world is rotten anyway, u see any one clean person, point them out, I will send u money on “M-Pesa” now!! They will love u for that; they will congratulate u and hug u, for being the best friend they ever had!

5. Don’t pay your taxes, Naah to hell with taxes, who will know you are not paying tax anyway...The taxman is asleep, and they love bribe just don’t pay if they catch you they will probably take you out and buy you dinner then send you home in a  limo as an award for not paying up.

6. Default on child support.. If you want to go to jail, then this is the easiest way, don’t pay up!! If you baby mama calls u, (I do this all the time) tell her to go to hell!! They will probably come for you and jail you.  That means you won’t have a job, but you will still eat so there is simply no way you are going to pay up while you are locked up.

7. Sleep with an underage, probably class seven going eight. Or form three going four... OK isn’t it just mad fun, when  the kids exams are around the corner and u see an elephant sized little girl on the hospital bed and trying to write her final math paper... and you go like, "that’s my ball!" Feels good uh..? Does it bring memories? a bottle of soda and chips maybe? Someone else’s lilttle gal today, tomorrow it will be your little gal.

8. Sleep with a married man/woman. Everyone is doing it, kwani? haiya!! When your credit gets effed up, Grab you some old ugly mandingongo whose premature ejaculation problems got him facing rejection at home and massage some ego!!  You will be smiling all the way to the bank inside his big car and earning some easy mullah, without even lifting a finger, you know what that makes you? a genius!!(well i wanted to say a hoe, but business is business you are the managing director of your body) Just like Seth Munga, Warren Buffet and Bill gates, how about this  for a living, just sleeping and having fun, yet making money at the same time!!  ... All u need is a sexy body and a rat's brains!!

You can then go to church on Sunday and ask God for forgiveness for the sins of the week, you will be amazed how relieved you become. Nobody will know..If I were a girl I would be doing it all the time, isn’t it just the easiest way to make money? but life’s funny, today someone else is washing the boxers he’s removing for u, tomorrow it will be your married man, your ring going under the table, your man on the couch as another younger and juicier chic gets everything.. 

9. Abort.. lets face it, probably 3 out of four women have had an abortion procedure performed on them,  if you are guilty take your secret to the grave, because here is the thing, I wouldn't marry a chic whose aborted for me, your man is supposed to see you as an angel and it should remain that way,  I would even give the money... but once you are in there you are on your own!! Now you know.